Dear Polygon, I saw your advert posted on the 30th of August 2017. I know the closing date was the 10th of September, but I think I am the perfect candidate for the job! Why you may ask? Well, I managed to complete DOOM on medium difficulty without having too much trouble. I also definitely know where to switch on my PlayStation 4, so popping in a game to review it won’t be a problem for me. And last but not least I have 20 years gaming experience behind me so getting past the Cuphead tutorial shouldn’t be a problem for me. I am also more than willing to dye my hair any color of the social justice rainbow and take a quick course in gender studies. Hope to hear from you soon!