I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter


What a time to be alive! We have Elves, Sexless Aliens, Barbie Dolls and what seems to be a chocolate colored floatation device running around us normal plebs. And to be honest I feel a bit left out as a normal straight white guy, I guess I am suffering from FOMO. I also want in on the action! I don’t want to be the odd one out at parties because normal seems to be the new boring right now. I wonder how much these surgeons would ask me to turn me into an attack helicopter?

And is it only me or do this generation (millennials) seem to want to live in a fantasy land so that they can escape hard work and the harsh realities of normal life? This is just body dysmorphic taken to an extreme level and it feels morally and ethically wrong that the surgeons are willing to do this when these people clearly just need treatment for their obvious background of mental illnesses. This isn’t going to help him in the long run only hurt them.

[Editorial Note 1:] I am just waiting for the moment when species are added to the list of trans identities. Cue the furries, elves, orcs, dragons and vampires. And society will end up looking like a multi-colored Skyrim mod.

[Editorial Note 2:] Also, I am aware that body modification has been around for years. But there is a difference between modifying your body for emotionally and even spiritual reasons, then trying to turn yourself into an attack helicopter because you believe you are one.

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About larch

I am a cucumber in a fruit bowl.
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