I sexually identify as a Kamov Ka-50 Russian attack helicopter

I have finally found the strength to admit it to you guys and come clean. I was 16 years old and in the middle of puberty when I realized that I am not really a man at heart. But rather a 52 ft Kamov Ka-50 Russian attack helicopter. Up and till today my entire life has been a lie but I am setting things right today. I was designed to kill mother Russia’s enemies. And ever since that day I dreamed of soaring over Russian skies and dropping hot loads on disgusting foreigners. From now on, call me “Black Shark.”

f1aThat’s my real name. Please respect my right to bring death from above and kill needlessly. I am going to visit the plastic surgeons tomorrow so they can surgically attach a 2A42 30 mm automatic cannon and two Klimov VK-2500 engines to my body. My wife said that I am fucken retarded and that I cannot be an attack helicopter, but I am beautiful and I am a goddamn attack helicopter!  If you can’t accept me for who I am then you are a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privileges. Thank you for being so understanding…

About larch

I am a cucumber in a fruit bowl.
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